Hi Friends, What did you implement last week? Did you like my instruction on how to be unhappy? For all of you who have a good, healthy relationship with your mom, consider yourself blessed. I never had that chance. After I was 6 years old, I had to navigate life without my mom. I am a mom of six children now, and I try to be a good mom to all, including two sons-in-law and one daughter-in-law. Two of my affirmations concerning family, that I listen to every morning, while I walk, is the following: I have the grace to embrace every season of life with my family. We find new ways to laugh and have fun with each other. Those are not easy. Things change. Kids move out. They start driving. They are not sitting next to me on the couch snuggling while I read a book to them. We are not having dance parties on the living room carpet with music blasting. I didn't consider those days easy. I raised six, nonetheless, but I could get nostalgic and wish those days back. Now, it takes a bit more effort to connect. A bit more effort to make them smile. And I'm putting in the effort because I want to be connected with them, even though they don't need me as much anymore. I love watching them grow up, become independent, date and marry, purchase a house, make an apartment their own, navigate high school and college. And yet I yearn for the days when they were close. As a good life coach I take my own advice and I learn to validate myself. I find worth in who I am, not in what I do. I am complete and whole if I am needed as a mom or not. What makes this more sentimental and serious for me is that I would give the world to sit with my mom; to hear her tell me ANYTHING about her life, her dreams, her fears, her career, and her siblings. ANYTHING. I didn't plan on this turning into my musings, but here we are. You might be a mom, a grandma, a mentor, a friend in the role of mom, a step mom, a foster mom, a co-parenting mom, a mom of a child who is sick either physically or mentally, a mom of a child who suffers with addictions, a single mom, a grieving mom, an expecting mom, a new mom.... If you want to listen to a really good podcast on all things parenting, go to my friend, Kelly, and listen to Harmony in the home. If you are navigating teen years go to Laura Lyles Reagan and Beth Rowles. Mark Greggston and Josh Shipp are also excellent resources. For all else, go look for help. Find a group who understands and can help you voice your concerns and help you feel like you are understood. You belong!!! If you are the daughter or son of a mom who neglected you, I hear you. If you had to cut contact because she was too toxic, I hear you. Again, if you have a good relationship with your mom, I want you to pause and thank the Heavens. This is not a given. Ask anyone who doesn't have this, and they will tell you how lucky you are. I take comfort in the fact that my mom nurtured me in the beginning years of my life. They say, those are the most important. I want to leave you with a truck load of encouragement, wherever you are in your journey as a mom. Acknowledge yourself for what you are doing right. (I do...) Change what is not working or not sitting right with you. (I did...) Read, learn, listen and keep encouraging yourself. I had one client who needed to set boundaries with her mom. I remember saying "good job" and she looked at me in bewilderment and said, "You don't understand, this is the first time I wrote to her like that." Another client with adult children, who were not exactly treating her nicely, to put it mildly, had to affirm herself with this new belief that we came up with for herself, "I loved well." And my very first client needed to see her worth, so she could give to her four children from a full cup. A friend wrote, "All mothers treasure moments in their hearts. It is a reflection of our Heavenly Father. He treasures the moments of our lives in his heart." Yes we do. We treasure those moments and yearn for more to come. The heart of a mother... I'm sure books have been written on this subject. I leave you with a joke in honor of my brother, who brought a weekly joke to his workplace, to make people laugh. What did the mommy spider say to the baby spider? You spend too much time on the web!! ;) So what do you need this Mother's Day?
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You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time,
Isabelle
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