Hi friends,
how was your Thanksgiving?
Somehow I didn't manage to get a picture of the whole family! How did I let that pass? I am thankful that all children and my new son and daughter in law could come for a little while.
And the picture above is from our borrowed tradition to play a turkey bowl game the morning of thanksgiving. I am borrowing this tradition from our church up in NJ. Trying to grow this fun tradition isn't that easy. But I'm thankful for the fun we had. I even tried to play, even though I have no clue !!!
Thankful. It is not always easy and I for sure was not always good at it.
There are times when your heart aches. Maybe for a child, or a spouse or a parent. It is in those times when being thankful for the person is so transformational.
Why be thankful when it hurts?
Because my friend, it is so freeing. Once you exchange your expectations with appreciation, your world will change. I know. I experienced it. And I get to witness it again and again in my clients. Part of their "homework" is to find and write down 3-5 things DAILY that they are thankful for in their spouse. Now we are talking couples who are quite annoyed at each other and are not exactly in love. This exercise helps focus your brain on the good that is right there. And what we focus on grows, right? I wish I had known that years ago.
I was completely focused on what was wrong, what was not good, what was not according to the latest marriage book I had read,....You get the idea. Now we are talking years of learning and training my mind to think differently. I understand now that I was in victim mode and I got one of my human needs met through this. It was the need for recognition. Especially in christian circles, you always find a listening ear for your troubles and people are willing to pray for you, you poor thing. Well, if you know me now, I am no longer 'a poor thing', I am much more confident in my role as a wife and mother.
So I'm sharing one of my success routines:
Every morning when I wake up, and my brain wants to go to my to do list and the things that were upsetting the day before, I redirect it. Its like this Pandora box of trouble is just waiting for you and when you open your eyes it's in your face! Right?
So I redirect my brain to thankfulness. Now it is a routine, so it doesn't take much of my energy anymore. It's my new default. I start with gratefulness to God, then my husband, my 6 children, and recently I added myself. But that's another story.
When you start your day being grateful , it sets the day up for more success. And yes, you can find 3 things to be grateful for.
Does he go to work? Doe she take good care of the kids? Does he laugh at your jokes? Does she greet you with a kiss? Does he clear the snow in the driveway? Doe she listen to me talk about my work meeting? Does he drive our family to our vacation destination? Is he kind to my mom? Does she play with our children? Does he support my dream? ...You can come up with many more. I know you can.
Being thankful for your spouse is huge. Try it and let me know how it goes. Small changes like this, implemented every day, will certainly have a compound effect on the overall health of your relationship.
The Webster definition of thankful is :
Being conscious of benefit received.
I like that. Cause it says received. You already have it. Open your eyes to it. Be conscious of it. Speak gratitude over it. And see the world change in front of your eyes.
PS: Message me for a free consult to start making the desired changes become a reality.
You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time,
Isabelle
Call or write for a free life coaching consultation
#732-331-2246
Isabellestephensoncoach@gmail.com
