Hi Friends, I am going to start with a bang! The following is what I heard in a podcast and I told a friend immediately. It went something like this: We are in relationships where we are loved as much as we allow ourselves to be loved! Read that again. Did that hit you? I talk a lot to my clients (and myself) about allowing. And wanting. Why? Because that's Chinese to us. We have been so trained, indoctrinated and cultured that we allow bad things, including relationships, because we are -not deserving better -feel like we need to fix -have to serve -have a need to put ourselves down to let the other one shine How much do you allow yourself to be loved? If you are lucky, you had good parents that loved you well, and you chose a good partner who loved you well. But if you are like many, you chose someone who triggered you, so you could start healing. Often I talk with clients about allowing self care. Allowing themselves time out with friends. Time out by themselves. Allowing to take a break and not to carry everyone’s burdens. Allowing also can extend to letting others be who they are. Thinking that others should think like, act like or be like you will take you out of alignment with the ‘Law of Allowing’ . Needing everyone to conform comes from a deep rooted sense of fear, as we feel, if everyone is like us we are safe, while if others are unlike us we don’t know if we can trust them. It is this kind of thinking that causes disharmony, mistrust and more. Are you allowing yourself to be who you are meant to be? I had a client who felt better after our first session. She had come to me feeling so overwhelmed and after one hour, some of the heaviness had already lifted. She implemented some tools and did the homework and felt relieved and happier in one week! She did some reframing, some organizing of thoughts, some mind work, some self care, some allowing, actually a lot of allowing of ALL emotions. I am so proud of her. When we allow, we are not in resistance. Resistance takes so much more energy. For example; resisting grief, resisting anger, resisting being loved .... I asked another client, also overwhelmed with added stress and responsibilities, if she had asked for help. She told me she felt alone. I knew, that she is the kind of person who has helped many, so I asked if she feels honored when someone asks her for help. She said yes. I then asked if she is allowing others, to feel honored to help her. I knew she has people in her life who would be happy to show up on the help team, to help her to pack up her house and move. I said someone might even bring food! Let them help you. Allow them to do what fills them up. So the tears turned into laughing. I love when my clients laugh with me. And I equally love the sigh of relief I hear when a burden has lifted from their shoulders.
Nature's pace is going with the flow; like water following the path of least resistance.
MF
What do you think about allowing? As always, I love to hear your thoughts.
PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more confident you.
You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time,
Isabelle Call or write for a free life coaching consultation #732-331-2246 Isabellestephensoncoach@gmail.com