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  • Writer's pictureIsabelle

Tuesday Thoughts And Celebrating One Another

Hi Friends,

How was your week? 

It came to my attention that some women have an easier time than others when it comes to celebrating one another's wins. Have you noticed? I know sometimes I am filled with joy when I witness another woman's success and at other times...not so much. Let's start with the opposite like when we witness suffering, whether in someone we love or a complete stranger. In this case, it’s easier for us to respond with compassion. Yet, that sense of goodwill might not be quite so automatic when we notice someone else enjoying success or happiness, or just feeling good about themselves. This is not because we’re bad people. It could be partially because of our widespread societal belief that if somebody else is happy, then we can’t be. Our society is highly competitive. We compare ourselves and we’re trained to believe there’s only so much happiness (or success, or love) to go around. This kind of  thinking is a robber of our happiness.

Thank goodness there is something we can do about it: the practice of sympathetic joy. It’s the flip side of compassion.  With sympathetic joy, we deliberately pay attention to the good fortunes of others and share and celebrate their wins. If you’ve ever been the recipient of this kind of joy, then you know how good it feels. We all want that kind of person to be our friend, right? 

Did you grow up in a different culture? Was yours less competitive and shared more in other's successes? As always, this isn't an easy habit to change or build up in your life. It takes awareness, intention and a deliberate will. This allows you to get out of your own way so you can enjoy other's happiness as much as your own. Implementing a new practice begins with intention. You decide you want to feel joy for others, and you’re going to do it on purpose. Then you start to bring attention to what others are feeling, and you develop a capacity for noticing when people are feeling good and happy.

You could start out right now, practicing this sympathetic joy, by picturing someone you know and imagine your heart opening toward them: I’m so happy for your joy. I’m so grateful you’re finding success. You can expand this practice to strangers as you are going about your daily life, just walking down the street, or being in your office or at the gym, at church or at a meeting. When you see someone who appears to be happy and joyful, open yourself to them in that moment. Say a blessing silently for them, the way you might during a prayer or meditation. You don’t have to know the person or anything about them; just send that quick silent blessing.

What happens is that something changes in you and the people you’re encountering. There’s some sort of energetic exchange — people will sometimes notice you even if you haven’t said a word. I truly think it can change the way we see each other, and how we see the world. (Some points taken from “Happy for You!” in the December 2020 print issue ofExperience Life.)

I am part of a few networking groups and I always wondered if we should start a "You did it" party for our fellow business ladies. I know the town I live in celebrates the new opening of businesses (online or brick and mortar) through the local Area Chamber of Commerce. I attended two of those recently as I wanted to encourage the ladies who had started a new business. I also celebrated a former client with a dinner at the beach at a picnic table because of a grand accomplishment that she was able to do partly because of some work we had done while she was my coachee. So, it was a true win win. Aren't they the best? 

And yet sometimes I feel a twinge of envy. That's when I go inside myself and reframe the situation so I can be inspired by that person's success. Because, their happiness and success does not exclude my success and happiness. There is plenty to go around. Plenty of abundance and goodwill. 

This week's affirmation: 

I am ready to celebrate your wins. 


PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more confident you.

 You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.

Until next time,


Call or write for a free life coaching consultation #732-331-2246

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