Hi Friends, Which thankfulness routine did you start? Today, lets talk about how you can build your self-worth. It is written by a guest blog translated from Laura Malina Seiler, a German coach. __________________________________________________________________________________ So often we feel that our self-worth and what defines us is measured by our achievements and successes: by likes and views, by status symbols, by the number of trips we take, by our weight and appearance, by our conformity and the approval of others. So, so much has changed in my life since I let go of these ideas and accepted myself for who I am. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself if you don't make your self-worth dependent on something on the outside, but can consciously see and fully recognize this value on the inside! In this blog article, I would like to share four powerful steps with you that will help you to strengthen your self-esteem in the long term. I also took these four steps and learned to really value myself. I'll also share my eight best tips on how you can effectively boost your self-esteem in everyday life. What actually is self-esteem? - A brief definition…As the term suggests, self-esteem is the emotional, subjective assessment of your own worth. This assessment influences the way you think, feel and act in your life. It is strongly reflected in your dealings with other people, but also with yourself. If you have a strong and healthy sense of self-worth, you talk to yourself in a predominantly positive way and don't tell bs stories. Your inner convictions and values are in harmony with your words and actions, and even the opinions and judgments of others cannot easily dissuade you. It is easier for you to cope with life crises and you generally have an affirmative and benevolent attitude towards yourself and life. If, on the other hand, you have low self-esteem, your nasty inner critic will constantly be calling you. You think you are 'too fat', 'too stupid' or 'too inexperienced' and don't really believe that you can overcome difficulties and challenges. This also makes it difficult for you to experience your self-efficacy. Only when you can perceive yourself in your self-efficacy do you realize that you can make a difference with your actions, change things and actively shape your life. This allows you to decouple yourself from external control. Your self-esteem can only grow if you face challenges, find solutions and realize that you can create something from within. Why we lose our self-esteem…One of the main reasons why you don't recognize your own self-worth, question it or think you're not enough is that you're on the outside too much. You always seek appreciation for yourself in external affirmation and recognition. In the course of your life, you have experiences on the outside that make you insecure and question your self-worth. The cause of low self-esteem often goes back to childhood. If your parents or people close to you were unable to convey to you that you are valuable as you are, you will repeatedly doubt this later in life. If you were perhaps even ridiculed, embarrassed or not taken seriously, your self-esteem will probably have been severely damaged as a result. Because of these experiences, you may have concluded that you are not lovable or valuable enough as you are. To protect yourself from painful experiences, you have conformed to your parents, kindergarten or school, society and your environment. At some point, you believe that your value is dependent on your behavior and the reaction on the outside. This results in a new pattern of thought and behavior that becomes normal for you and eventually runs subconsciously. I would like to say to you here and now and from the bottom of my heart: "Your self-worth is not measured by anything on the outside. Your self-worth is something inside you! Your self-worth is immeasurable!" There is no one in this world like YOU. There is no one with YOUR DNA. There is no one with YOUR story. There is no one with YOUR abilities. There is no one who looks like YOU. There is no one who thinks and feels and speaks like YOU. There is no one who has the fingerprint or the pulse like YOU. YOU are absolutely unique in this universe! It's about remembering this uniqueness that you have forgotten over time, rediscovering it and appreciating yourself! "The more aware you are of yourself and your value, the more you step into the magic of life..." For me, having a healthy sense of self-worth means that you free yourself from the expectations of others and from your own self-doubt and become more and more in tune with your truth, with your essence and your consciousness. This means that you create your life from the inside out! Instead of wanting to be perfect, your personal and spiritual growth is more important to you. Four powerful steps for more self-esteem 1. Shift your inner attitude The first and most fundamental step to boosting your self-esteem is to shift your inner attitude. From: My value is dependent on something that happens on the outside. To: My value cannot be measured and is not dependent on anything. My value is within me! I am unique! Change the way you see yourself. Allow yourself to see yourself in a new light and fully recognize yourself as you are. "Change your self-image and you change your life!" 2. See yourself in all your completeness The second step towards a strong sense of self-worth is about recognizing yourself in all your completeness, which is within you and which has never been gone! In order to perceive ourselves fully, we need to recognize both sides of ourselves and bring them back together: our light sides and our dark sides - what we like about ourselves and what we don't like about ourselves. However, we are rarely aware of these sides. We often neither know what we value about ourselves nor do we know what we dislike about ourselves. Both tend to happen unconsciously. Appreciate your light side: The light or sun part is the part of you that you like to show often because you have learned that it makes you liked and loved. This part of you wants to be consciously seen and appreciated. EXERCISE: Feel inside yourself: What is the part that you bring outside a lot? Close your eyes for a moment and connect with your sun part. For example: I am reliable. I am helpful. I make others laugh. I adapt myself. I am friendly. Recognize yourself for having this side of you, for example, for bringing joy into other people's lives or for helping others. Allow yourself to step into this strength, into this power and into the light of you! We often take this for granted, but this sunny side makes you special, just like the dark side. Integrate your shadow part: The shadow part is the part of you that you often push away and ignore because you know it won't make you as liked and loved as when you show the sunny side. You have learned that there was or is negative feedback from outside when you show the shadow part. Perhaps you were once told: Be quiet! That's not what they say! Be good! You're weird. Just be normal for once! If you want to walk your personal and spiritual path and find out who you really are, the dark side is just as much a part of it as the light side. It is the universal law of polarity that says that there are two sides to everything. If you push away one part, you cannot be complete because you subconsciously know that this hidden part still exists. In this state, you lose an incredible amount of energy, which you then lack in order to create a happy, fulfilled and successful life. You can't just live one side, because the universe will keep bringing up the other side until you acknowledge and integrate it. This shadow side is there to give you a message and show you something. A great example of this is envy: envy is only there to shake your soul and wake you up and show you that what you see on the outside in others is also on the inside and that you can develop it. EXERCISE: Feel inside yourself here too: what is the part of you that you keep pushing away and that you think should not be seen and that you are not allowed to live out? For example: I'm not allowed to rest. I am lazy. I am not allowed to be loud. I'm not allowed to be angry. I'm not allowed to do my thing. I'm not allowed to be so happy. I'm not allowed to know so much. I can't be sad. I must not be so emotional. I'm not allowed to be so quiet. I must not say no. Close your eyes for a moment and connect with the shadow part of you. Ask yourself: What is this part there for? What does this shadow part need in order to come into the light? Then smile at your shadow part and make peace with it. It's not about being completely without shadows, but about consciously recognizing and integrating them. The moment you recognize and appreciate all your parts and enter into this completeness, a whole new freedom arises within you! "Recognize your inner polarity and live your whole being!" 3. Forgive yourself Forgive yourself for thinking that you have to live according to the ideas and expectations of others in order to be valued. Forgive yourself for pushing away the parts of yourself that have longed for your appreciation and love for so long. Forgive yourself for making the wrong decisions because you thought you were not good enough, not lovable enough and not valuable enough. Forgive yourself for not living according to your own truth. Free yourself from your self-reproach and make peace with yourself. Accept yourself as the spiritual being who is having a human experience and who has a lot to learn and grow. "Give yourself the love you've been waiting for for so long. Tell yourself: You are perfect the way you are! I love you the way you are! " 4. Come into your power When you see yourself as complete and valuable, you no longer have to spend energy trying to push anything away, devalue anything or prove anything. You can finally use this energy to create the life you really want to live. You start to live according to your own expectations. Imagine what you are like when you experience yourself fully. How are you in your relationships? How are you in your job? How do you think and how do you feel? What decisions do you make? How do you speak and how do you behave? What blossoms in you when you free yourself from all expectations? What kind of person do you want to be? What gift do you have for this world? How are you with yourself? And what is possible as a result? The most valuable thing you can do is to recognize your own self-worth! "See yourself from your heart! See yourself as the person you are, with all your facets, all your beauty, all your strength, with everything you have already mastered, with all your experiences, all your insights, with all the love that is in you, with all the pain and scars, the sadness, anger and shame. See yourself completely. See yourself as the unique masterpiece that you are!" Eight fantastic tips to boost your self-esteem in everyday life: Do my four steps to stronger self-esteem still sound a little too abstract for you? Then here are eight very specific tips on how you can boost your self-esteem in everyday life. 1) Be more aware of your thoughts and feelings. Write a journal to make yourself aware of your thoughts and feelings and recognize your patterns. Be aware when you have thoughts such as "If I do this, then I will (not) be liked/loved/recognized" and ask yourself what belief and message is behind this conviction. 2) Use positive affirmations. Our brain has the fantastic ability to rewire itself. You can think of it like a data highway: the neuronal connection is expanded for the thoughts that you think frequently. If you think more positive thoughts, the physiological structure of your brain will adapt. 3) Regularly repeating positive affirmations such as 'I love and accept myself as I am' is very helpful for this: I love and accept myself as I am. 4) Train your gratitude. Turn your gaze inwards from time to time and ask yourself: What am I grateful for right now? What am I recognizing myself for right now? There are so many things you can be grateful for. Maybe you made a delicious meal for your kids today, maybe you crossed an important item off your to-do list, or maybe you just took some time for yourself. I'm sure you're doing the best you can every day. Before you go to sleep each day, find three things that you can be grateful for that day. 5) Resolve fears and self-doubt. You can use the Emotional Freedom Technique (ETF) to resolve any acute fears and self-doubt that arise. ETF is a tapping technique that allows you to transform negative feelings and remove energetic blockages. This works by tapping certain acupressure points in combination with certain phrases. 6) Don't compare yourself with others. You are unique. No one else has the exact combination of strengths, interests and abilities that you have. Comparing yourself to others blinds you to the original you and encourages self-doubt. Why don't I have a car like that? Why does he keep getting the great jobs and I don't? She has such a great figure, compared to that I look like a bull in a china store. Envy can be a guide to what you really want in your life. However, you should never make your self-esteem dependent on how you compare to others. Because you are valuable just as you are. If you have a strong tendency to compare yourself, try a week or two of digital detox or make a note of all the situations in which you compare yourself. 7) Surround yourself with people and things that are good for you. Cut yourself off from thoughts, situations, people and media that make you feel bad and connect more and more with things that are good for you. To strengthen your self-esteem, find people who share the same interests and values as you and recognize your true worth. Perhaps this also means letting go of old companions who are not moving in the same direction and are dragging you down energetically. 8) Give yourself strength through a strong posture. Your posture determines how others perceive you, but also how you feel about yourself because body and soul are deeply connected. Your posture also influences your psyche. Scientific studies have shown that just two minutes of power posing can help boost your self-esteem, increase your testosterone levels for more courage and self-confidence and reduce the stress hormone cortisol. So, instead of making yourself look small, letting your shoulders and the corners of your mouth hang down, straighten up, put your shoulders back, chin up and give yourself a smile. You can also consciously stretch your arms upwards into a victory pose or open your arms outwards instead of crossing them in front of your body. Work on yourself and your spiritual practice. When you recognize your own worth and live your being fully, you express your personality, your talents, your potential and your uniqueness. And that is exactly what the world needs! You are a gift to this world and it is so wonderful that you exist! Reconnecting with your own unique universe and truly recognizing your own self-worth is an ongoing process. From my experience and that of my clients, I know that we quickly forget this in everyday life! __________________________________________________________________________________ I hope this article by Laura has given you some inspiration on how to boost your self-esteem. Feel free to write to me in the comments: What is the most beautiful thought you can think about yourself today?
PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more confident you..
You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time,
Isabelle
Call or write for a free life coaching consultation
#732-331-2246
Isabellestephensoncoach@gmail.com