Tuesday thoughts And The In-between

Isabelle
Dec 30, 2025
4 min read

Hi Friends,

I hope you enjoyed last week’s look at old customs. This week, the time between Christmas and New Years, I want to share something with you from my old country. It’s quieter there after Christams. Things close or slow down. My friends businesses literally close for a week and all employees are off.

Zwischen den Jahren — The time in between the years

There is a quiet space that exists between what has been and what will be. In German, it’s called Zwischen den Jahren — literally, between the years. It’s the stretch of time after the holidays, before resolutions, before momentum kicks back in. A pause that doesn’t demand improvement, fixing, or forward motion.

In this in‑between, there are no resolutions yet. No performance. Just breathing. And that matters more than most of us have been taught to believe.

If you feel unproductive right now, you’re not behind, you’re right on time. This season was never meant for pushing forward. It’s meant for noticing. For letting unfinished thoughts sit where they are. For looking back without judgment and glancing ahead without pressure.

In Germany, not everything needs to be optimized. Some moments are meant to remain open. Zwischen den Jahren isn’t laziness; it’s reflection. It’s quiet walks, slow mornings, and allowing the nervous system to catch up with the life you’ve been living.

We live in a culture that rushes us into the next chapter before we’ve fully closed the last one. New goals, new habits, new versions of ourselves, are often demanded before we’ve even caught our breath. Zwischen den Jahren gently reminds us: you don’t have to rush. Standing still for a while is not the same as being stuck.

This pause is a threshold. A doorway. A place where you can acknowledge what carried you through the past year: the strength, the grief, the growth, the mistakes, without needing to turn any of it into a lesson just yet. Some things simply need to be witnessed.

So if all you’re doing right now is breathing, resting, and quietly taking stock, that is enough. This time isn’t about action. It’s about awareness.

There is something deeply uncomfortable about this space for many women, especially those of us who have spent decades being reliable, productive, and emotionally strong. We were praised for holding everything together, for pushing through, for not needing much. Standing still can feel like failure when your identity has been built on movement.

But pauses are not empty. They are full of information. When the noise quiets down, what surfaces is often what has been waiting patiently for years: grief that never had time, questions that were postponed, longings that didn’t feel practical, and truths that didn’t fit into the life you were living.

Zwischen den Jahren gives permission to listen without immediately responding. To notice without solving. To admit, maybe for the first time, that some chapters were heavier than you let on, and that you’re allowed to acknowledge that now.

This space also invites compassion for the version of you who made choices with the information, energy, and capacity she had at the time. Looking back without judgment doesn’t mean everything was right. It means you stop punishing yourself for surviving the way you did.

Between the years, there is no demand to reinvent yourself. There is only an invitation to reconnect. To remember what steadies you. To sense what drains you. To gently distinguish between what you’ve outgrown and what you’re simply tired of carrying alone.

And yes, this can feel unsettling. When you stop rushing, you can no longer outrun yourself. But this is also where clarity begins, not the loud, dramatic kind, but the quiet, trustworthy kind that grows when you finally give yourself time to breathe.

A Personal Note

I’ve come to recognize this in-between space as one of the most honest seasons of midlife. After years of moving forward because that’s what was expected: by family, by roles, by myself, by life itself — slowing down felt almost wrong. And yet, it was here that I noticed what I had been carrying without question.

I didn’t arrive at clarity by forcing answers. I arrived by allowing myself to stand still long enough to hear the quieter truths. Some were comforting. Some were confronting. All of them were necessary.

If you’re in a season where you’re no longer who you were, but not yet sure who you’re becoming, I want you to know this: there is nothing wrong with you. You are not late. You are not failing. You are standing in a threshold...and thresholds are meant to be lingered in.

A Simple Zwischen‑den‑Jahren Exercise

Set aside 10–15 quiet minutes. No phone. No music. Just you and a piece of paper.

Looking Back (without judgment)Write down:
- Three moments from the past year that still linger in your body (not the ones you’re proud of, the ones you feel).
- One thing you’re quietly glad is over.
- One thing you’re surprised you survived.
Standing Here (the present moment)Finish these sentences honestly:
- Right now, I feel more ___ than I admit.
- What I need less of is ___.
- What I need more of is ___.
Looking Ahead (without pressure)Do not write goals. Instead, write:
- One quality you want to carry into the next year (not achieve but carry).
- One way you’re allowed to go slower.