Happy Mother's day
There are so many ways we can approach mother's day. And I can't do justice to all. If you are a mom, and your children are far away or you are not in a good relationship with them, celebrate mother's day anyway. Have you done a good job? Have you tried your best? Then be kind to yourself.
Let me approach it from the angle of (young) adult women and their moms. If you still have a mom, when is the last time you had a conversation with her? I mean, not about your kids or small stuff, I mean a real conversation.
Why don't we? I can't, because as I mentioned in my last letter, my mom passed away when I was six years old. I have asked my aunt many questions about her, because I can't go to her and ask her. I have such a desire to know who she was, what she did, how she handled life.
If you have your mom, and the relationship is not toxic, unhealthy , then go ask your mom while you have her.
There seem to be a lot of wounds in a mother daughter relationship. Some of my clients I had to coach to set boundaries. A young 30 something year old client said:" It was scary, but now I feel better. I had no idea I had so much control over my emotions.!" Bingo. The only person you have control over is you. It's worth repeating. Because I love you. So my mom was a master seamstress, married my dad in her late 30's , had my brother and I, loved kittens, made homemade chips, and loved to dance. I will have to put a collection of old pictures together soon. These are just a few of them. Aren't we lucky to have cell phones now? With cameras? I mean, how lucky are we? You know that sometimes, I deliberately ask to have a picture of me or me and my kids taken, just so they know what I looked like and that I was there!!! Oh what I would give to have a picture of just my mom
and I. So my children will have to suffer through the oh so annoying selfie with mom!!:)
So back to the topic: if you are daring and would like to ask your mom some questions , here are some ideas:
-what's your story?
-what's your best advice?
-what do you value most?
-what's your dream?
-what do you regret?
and keep going....
To all the moms who are trying their best, me included, let's be kind to ourselves, have no expectations from our children concerning how they show up for mother's day (see last letter), and do something that brings you joy. That's why I am going to see a sunflower farm!! With three of my daughters. And yes, you will see pictures for sure.
Happy Mother's day my friends.
You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time,
Isabelle
Call or write for a free 20 minute life coaching session #732-331-2246 Isabellestephensoncoach@gmail.com