Tuesday Thoughts And The Long version please

Isabelle
Nov 18
3 min read

Hi Friends,

I trust you enjoyed learning about your impact in last week’s blog. Today I want to write about something so common, so every day, and of course, I'm giving it a twist.

The Long Version, Please

“How are you?”It’s one of the most common questions in daily life—yet most people expect the one-word answer: good, fine, busy. But I’ve reached a point in my life where I genuinely want the long version. I want the real answer… the one that tells me where your heart is, what’s moving in your world, and what you might need today.

For me, this goes back to my early experience as a young German woman newly living in America. In German culture, we’re literal to the core. If someone asks “Wie geht’s dir?” they actually want to know how you are. So when I moved here and people casually asked, “How are you?” while walking past me, not even slowing down, it confused the heck out of me. I would start telling the truth—only to discover they had already moved on. I had to learn that “How are you?” often simply meant hello.

But here’s the thing: the world is starving for real connection, and the simplest way to offer it is to slow down and truly listen. Not fix. Not compare. Not wait for your turn to talk. Just listen. When someone trusts you with their story—the long version—you’re holding something sacred. You’re saying with your presence, “You matter. I see you. You’re not alone.”

Being listened to has a physical effect on the body. Shoulders drop. Breathing eases. The nervous system settles. It reminds us we’re worthy of taking up space. And being the one who listens? It grows empathy, patience, and emotional intelligence. It makes us better friends, partners, leaders, and human beings.

There’s a quote, often attributed to Maya Angelou, that captures this truth:

“People will remember how you made them feel, not what you said.”

And nothing makes a person feel more valued than being given the gift of time and presence.

Maybe the world doesn’t need more perfect answers. Maybe it needs more people willing to hear the long version. I remember one friend, years ago, who would stop and say, "How is Isabelle really doing.” Because just like you, I had learned to give the short answer. the expected one. The culturally correct one.

There’s also something profoundly human about being witnessed in our everyday lives. Most people walk around carrying more than they show—grief, joy, confusion, hope, fear. When someone offers us a moment of genuine attention, it reminds us that we don’t have to carry everything alone. It validates our inner world in a way that surface-level conversations never can.

Real listening turns ordinary moments into connection points, and connection is what keeps us soft, grounded, and resilient in a fast-moving world. So the next time you ask someone, “How are you?”—pause long enough to let them answer for real. And when someone asks you, consider giving them a little more than “I’m fine.” You might be surprised how healing it is to be truly heard.

Here is this weeks affirmation: I create space for real connection.

Isabelle

PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more confident you.

You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.