Questions To Ask Before getting Married
Important Questions To Ask Before You Get Married
Hi friends, how are you? This Sunday we are hosting the bridal shower for my oldest daughter. She is young. I know there are many views out there like "they should wait till they are older" or "go head and marry young" . I don't think the age matters half as much as how well the couple knows each other. I know my daughter and her fiance know each other well enough to make a clear choice. I have learned to ask my girls if any of their friends have seen red flags. Through my coaching I hear all kinds of stories. What I've seen and what I know from Gottman's 30 plus research is that a solid friendship is critical for a good foundation. I've seen couples restore broken trust after an affair because their friendship was so strong. I will just let you contemplate and share the below questions:
are you heading in the same direction in life?do you know your partner's strengths and weaknesses? do you handle conflict well?are there signs of mental illness that you have been blinded to so far?any unspoken secrets like drug use, pornography, suicide attempts, former relationships....what do those who know you well think of the relationship? Ask them if you don't knowwhat do your friends and parents think? do not ignore red flags, these issues will not go awayare you overly dependent on the other person?do you accept each other as you are?are you being pressured?are you in love with the real person or a fantasy partner?will you be a source of joy to each other?how will you handle finances?have you known each other long enough to know each other well?is there mutual enjoyment of each other?How big is your baggage? Does it fit into an attache case, a carry on, a small suitcase or a trunk?what are your values?will you take responsibility for your own growth? and happiness?what is your partner's relationship /dynamic with his /her family? Some questions taken from a survey I conducted, the book "Pre-engagement" by David Powlinson and John Yenchko and the book "101 Questions To Ask Before You Get Engaged" by Norman Wright.
You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time, Isabelle
Call or write for a free 20 minute life coaching session #732-331-2246 Isabellestephensoncoach@gmail.com