Tuesday Thoughts And did You know You Can Do This?

Isabelle
Sep 24, 2025
5 min read

Hi Friends,

How did you answer last week's question? This week we will combine the past with the present. How? Wait and see.

Reclaiming Places:

How to Rewire a Bad Memory Into a Good One

Have you ever noticed how a place can hold power over you? You walk into a room, down a hallway, or past a café, and instantly you’re back in a moment you’d rather forget. A fight, a loss, a painful goodbye. Suddenly your chest feels heavy, your stomach tightens, and it feels like the air itself carries the memory.

But here’s the good news: you don’t have to keep letting those places control you. Psychology calls this memory reconsolidation—it’s the process of updating an old memory with new emotional meaning. In simple terms, it’s giving your brain a fresh association so the old one loses its sting.

Think about it: your brain is not a hard drive that stores memories permanently. Every time you recall a memory, it becomes flexible for a moment. That’s your chance to rewire it. And you can do that by deliberately going back to a place of pain and creating a new, positive experience there.

The 9/11 Effect

We all know where we were on September 11, 2001, when the news broke. You probably remember what room you were in, who you were with, maybe even what you were wearing. Why? Because the place where you first heard it got wired together with the shock, fear, and grief of that moment. That’s how memory and emotion work. The brain doesn’t just store facts—it stores the setting, the smells, the sounds, and the feelings, all glued together. That’s why certain places feel charged. And that’s also why you have the power to change it.

The Courage to Reclaim a Place

Let’s be real: this takes courage. Going back to the site of a painful memory can feel like opening a wound. But courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. It means you choose to go back anyway—with intention. It’s not about erasing what happened; it’s about reclaiming your own life so you’re not held hostage by the past.

I read about a woman who had terrible memories tied to a hospital. Her parent died there, her sibling had a serious accident there, and she avoided it for years because it felt like her personal house of horrors. Eventually, she chose to walk back in. She smelled the same sterile hospital scent, walked the same hallways, and instead of being overwhelmed, she breathed deeply and allowed herself to be present. She left smiling, free from the grip that hospital once had on her.

I’ve done this myself. There was a coffee shop where I once had a painful falling out with a friend. For months, just seeing the building made my chest tighten. One day, I chose to reclaim it. I went back with a different friend—someone safe, supportive, and fun. We laughed, sipped coffee, and turned that café into a place of warmth again. Now when I pass it, I smile instead of shrinking inside.

This is not just possible—it’s practical, doable, and empowering. Here are some everyday examples of how you can try this:

The vacation gone wrong Maybe a family trip ended in arguments, stress, or disappointment. That destination might feel tainted by the memory. Reclaim it by going back for a day or weekend with a different intention. This time, plan something light and simple—have a picnic, take goofy photos, or treat yourself to a little indulgence. You’re not trying to recreate the past trip; you’re writing a brand-new chapter there.
The restaurant where you fought If a big argument happened over dinner, that restaurant may feel like a wound. Instead of avoiding it forever, go back with someone who makes you feel safe and valued. Order your favorite meal. Laugh. Toast to your resilience. Let your body and brain re-experience that space in a nurturing way.
The park where you got bad news. Maybe you were sitting on a bench when you got the phone call that changed everything. That park may feel like it belongs to sorrow. But you can give it back to yourself. Return on a sunny day, take a slow walk, bring your journal, or sit quietly with gratitude for how far you’ve come since that moment.
The school, workplace, or building tied to stress. Did you leave a job in tears? Or have years of anxiety in a classroom? Go back when you’re ready. Walk the halls not as the stressed-out version of you, but as the wiser, stronger you are today. Sometimes simply standing in that space as the person you’ve become is enough to dissolve the old hold it had over you.

Why This Works

Your brain is always forming connections. When a place becomes tied to a painful memory, your nervous system automatically reacts when you see it again—almost like muscle memory. But when you deliberately create a new, positive experience in that same place, your brain lays down a fresh pathway. Over time, the old negative association gets weaker and weaker, and the new one grows stronger.

This is not wishful thinking—it’s neuroscience. Memory reconsolidation is one of the brain’s natural processes. And you don’t need special training or therapy to start using it in simple, everyday ways.

You Can Do This

I want to stress this: this tool is completely doable. It doesn’t take money, complicated steps, or someone else’s permission. It just takes intention and courage.

Courage to walk back into a place that once made you shrink.
Courage to invite a good friend, or go with your stronger self.
Courage to believe that the past doesn’t get to own you anymore.

You don’t have to carry that stuck, heavy negative energy with you. You can set it down, one coffee shop, one hospital hallway, one park bench at a time.

Your story is still being written—and you are the one holding the pen.

A Reflection Exercise

Take a moment and think:

What place in your life still feels heavy?
Where do you feel that old knot in your stomach when you pass by?

Now imagine going back—not as the person you were then, but as the person you are today. Who could you take with you? What small but good experience could you create there?

Choose one place this week. Revisit it with intention. Breathe. Notice. And give yourself a new memory to carry forward.