Were you inspired to look at New Year's resolutions differently?
Today I want to talk about something that often keeps us stuck. There are many reasons, but one is kind of silent and under hidden layers. It's forgiveness, or unforgiveness. It seems that life is always teaching me to forgive... and it's hard.
Recently, I took a class about the Hawaiian ritual called Ho'oponopono. It sounds really simple but, boy, did the teacher go deep. In short, it helps reflect upon oneself, others and life. The teacher called it getting back to Zero, as in getting back to being one with God or the divine.
I am firmly convinced that the greatest wealth we can ever have is peace in our hearts. To achieve this, however, we need to let go of old experiences, accusations and stories by forgiving - ourselves, others and life.
When I discovered more about forgiveness in this class and in a coaching program who had invited an expert, I began to actively apply it by saying the four phrases right away especially when triggered. In this blog article, I would like to tell you exactly what forgiveness is, what is behind the ancient forgiveness ritual Ho'oponopono and what three steps you can take to love and live fully again!
"One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to forgive. To forgive everyone."
What is forgiveness?
We all have experiences in our lives that make us feel hurt, helpless, sad or angry. Based on these experiences, we conclude something negative about ourselves, other people and life and certain beliefs develop from this. These beliefs run subconsciously within us and have a fundamental influence on how we behave in everyday life and how we live our lives.
As long as we continue to evaluate this experience negatively for ourselves, we unconsciously continue to hold on to the old, dysfunctional beliefs and are unable to reach our full potential and live our true love.
So we often unconsciously feel that we are not good enough or lovable enough and that we are flawed. We think that something has gone wrong in our lives and see ourselves as victims. This runs through all areas of our lives, for example, love & partnership, career & finances, health, environment, creativity & adventure.
Forgiveness is the key to your inner freedom. Forgiveness is the process by which we emotionally neutralize an experience. This gives us the opportunity to even give the experience a new, positive meaning.
Above all, forgiveness is about moving from the role of victim back into our own creative power. We cannot change our past. What we can always change, however, is our inner attitude towards what happened, and at that moment everything around us changes. When we do forgiveness work, we realize that we are no longer the victim, but the powerful creator of our lives.
I would like to share an example from the coach who held this class:
"When I was 10 years old, my parents separated, my mother left us from one day to the next and my entire life felt like it had fallen apart. Nothing was the way I knew it. It was a traumatic experience for me and I felt very lonely and hurt. Because I couldn't understand it all, I started to turn the pain against myself and shut myself off inside.
When I came into contact with the power of forgiveness at a seminar almost 15 years later, it was like an inner liberation from all the old pain. Forgiveness enabled me to heal and let go of the reproach I had held against my mother the whole time. But not only against her, but also against myself. Of course, it was all a process, but since then I feel free and happy again; I am loving, compassionate, mindfully content and a little wiser. Today, I have a deep and wonderful relationship with my mother and can see that the experience had nothing to do with me, that my mother loves me more than anything and that it was the best she could do at the time. I can see that this experience was the best thing that has happened to me in my life because I went on my own spiritual journey through it and otherwise I would not be the person I am today and would not be doing what I am doing."
One powerful tool that you can utilize is Ho'oponopono.
What does Ho'oponopono mean?
Ho'oponopono is an ancient forgiveness ritual from Hawaii and means something like:
Making everything right again.
This is because Ho'oponopono assumes that there was already a right way when we were born. Through the conflicts we experience in the course of our lives, we unbalance universal love. Ho'oponopono is therefore a conversation with the universal force/with God/with the divine or with our highest self, in which we make everything right again and return to our origins. Ho'oponopono invites you to embark on your own spiritual journey again and to feel, deepen and live the relationship with your Higher Self. The basis of Ho'oponopono are four phrases.
The four magical phrases of Ho'oponopono:
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Ho'oponopono is simple and at the same time so powerful! I often use it in everyday life when I am in a situation where I realize that I have been triggered, and want to find my way back to harmony. Try it out for yourself.Who you can forgive
1. Forgive yourself
The first person to forgive is always ourselves. It all starts with us. We are so often the hardest on ourselves and have no one else to blame as much as ourselves.In every moment and at all times, we do our best, even if it is perhaps not the most beautiful or the wisest. In these moments, we have acted out of a pattern of inner beliefs. As long as we do not forgive ourselves, we repeat these patterns over and over again and are very likely to behave like this again in similar situations.When we begin to forgive ourselves and let go of our own blame, we reconnect with our own truth, compassion and love. When we accept and heal our own hurts, we also find it easier to see other people's pain and forgive them.Ask yourself: What do you want to forgive yourself for?
2. Forgive other people
There is incredible potential for each of us to heal and grow in our interpersonal relationships! People we can forgive can be:Our parents (Ex-)partnersSiblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and other family membersFriends People with whom we do not have a close emotional bond, but who have nevertheless done something that has hurt us (e.g. work colleagues, superiors, customers, teachers, professors or trainers, doctors, bus drivers, politicians) When we have an experience with other people that hurts us, it is rarely out of malicious intent and often has nothing to do with us, but rather, the other person has acted out of their own hurt and pain. If we recognize this, we can learn not to take everything personally and to distance ourselves in a healthy way.In doing so, they give us a gift, because all these experiences with them actually bring us back into our hearts. Forgiveness helps us to see and accept this gift so that we can integrate it into our lives.Ask yourself: Who is it time to forgive and what needs to be forgiven?By the way, the person doesn't have to be present or in your life or ask you to apologize beforehand in order for you to forgive them. When forgiving, you don't need anyone but yourself. Stop waiting for someone to give you permission to let go and be free. As long as the reproach is in your life, it belongs to you and only you can resolve it. You can forgive here and now.
3. Forgive life
Sometimes we still carry blame around with us that is not specifically related to another person. This can be, for example:An illnessAn injuryAn accidentA deathA lossAnother stroke of fate Because of these experiences, we often reproach life and thus make life difficult for ourselves. For as long as we are reproachful towards life, quarrel with it and have the inner attitude that life is hard, unfair or against us, we are in resistance.It is so much easier and more beautiful when we believe that life is always for us - even in experiences that were hard, sad and incredibly challenging. We can always ask ourselves here:What did the experience take away from me or else, what did the experience give me?The key is to work with these experiences, transform them for ourselves, let go and allow ourselves to forgive and make peace with life again.Ask yourself: What is it time to forgive? What do I want to forgive life for?
When we embark on our own spiritual path with forgiveness, it is sometimes liberating and empowering, but sometimes, also, really exhausting and difficult. Forgiveness is a powerful tool that can make a big difference in your life and is therefore often associated with a lot of emotions. For me, forgiveness therefore means having a strong heart, going through life with an open heart and courageously loving again - no matter what happened.
Forgiveness will enable you and I to heal much in our life, to come back into our power and to truly love and live.
This week's affirmation:
I am learning to forgive
Please let me know in the comments how you liked this blog and who you would like to forgive.I want to tell you from the bottom of my heart: you deserve to live a life of freedom, abundance and joy.
PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more forgiving and confident you.
You are loved.
Loved beyond measure.
Until next time,
Call or write for a free life coaching consultation