Hi Friends, What did you implement last week? Did you work on an old belief that wasn't serving you? It is work!! They are cemented in our brains and sometimes in every fiber of our bodies. But boy, does it feel good to see them and change them to a belief that serves us better. You have to try it to understand. Sounds like a commercial, doesn't it? So why do you see a collage of pictures in Paris? Here's why. As you know, I went to Germany in January to hold a memorial for my brother. I planned, I wrote e-mails, I met with people, I mourned and cried... And then, there was this old dream, at least 32 years old, to see Paris. I knew in my mind that I will not be that close to Paris in a long time. I’m Europe it is really easy to visit other European countries. The public transportation system is awesome. I was only 2 1/2 hours away with a speed train. BUT ..... My brain also said, "You shouldn't do that. That sounds like fun, and you are supposed to mourn." "What would people think?" "You are so selfish.” "That's not what you came for." So it really was a battle in my mind until I finally made the decision to go. You know that relief you feel when you finally made a decision?? I am sure my brother would have loved my idea. Let's not talk about regret right now because I sure regret not going to visit him earlier and possibly taking him to Paris with me. I know you are familiar with the "I should...” for example:
"I should go to so and so's birthday party because she came to mine."
"I should call so and so, otherwise they'd be upset.”
"I should keep working on this paper, cause I still have 2 hours.”
"I should say "I'm sorry" just in case.”
"I should go on that date even though I'm really tired and need rest.”
"I should sign up my child for such and such a class..."
We do it all the time and it is so in our subconscious that we don't even stop and pause. So, stop and pause next time you say, " I should..."
Whose expectations are we meeting or failing when we talk this way to ourselves? This can be messy and tricky to look into. But, it’s worth slowing down and examining if you are being pulled towards doing something because you believe it's the right thing to do OR you are conforming to societal expectations that don't serve you.
I learned this from another coach, and I am happy to share it here.
Can you back yourself up in this decision 100%?
Answer that question next time. I guarantee you will battle with yourself for a while. But, who else will back you up? You will have people loving or hating your decisions. You will NOT be able to do it right for everyone.
Was there a right or wrong decision concerning my decision to take the train to Paris and spend about 2 days there?
Sometimes it just boils down to making a decision. One way or another.
Where can you apply this?
The only quote I like that has the word “should”in it was given to me by my kids on a card accompanied with a planner and it read:
You know all those things you've always wanted to do? You should go do them.
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You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time,
Isabelle
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