Tuesday Thoughts And Releasing What doesn't serVe Me

Isabelle

Sep 29

3 min read

The Things We Do That Quietly Keep Us Stuck

We’ve spent the last couple of weeks looking at red flags we might overlook and the green flags that are worth noticing. But there’s another part of the picture that we don’t always talk about: our own patterns. Not because we are the problem, but because sometimes we develop ways of thinking and behaving that once served us well...and quietly keep us stuck today.

Maybe you’re a people pleaser who has gotten very good at saying yes when you really mean no. Maybe you avoid difficult conversations because keeping the peace feels safer. Maybe you give and give to everyone around you, only to wonder why you feel exhausted or unappreciated.

Or perhaps you keep waiting until you feel completely confident before taking the next step, when confidence often comes after we take it.

And then there is comparison. Looking at someone else's life and wondering why they seem further ahead, happier, more settled, or more successful can make us forget that we are only seeing a small piece of their story. Comparison can quietly convince us that our own life isn't enough, when perhaps what we really need is to stop measuring it against someone else's.

Sometimes we also hold onto things simply because we've already invested so much in them; a relationship, a friendship, a job, an old dream, even a version of ourselves. We think, I've come this far. I can't walk away now. But the time we've already invested doesn't mean we have to keep investing more.

And these patterns can show up in dating, too. Maybe we stop dating altogether because it feels easier than risking disappointment. Maybe we keep choosing the same type of person, even though the ending is painfully familiar. Sometimes what feels exciting or familiar isn't necessarily what is healthy for us. It's good to find out what that is in your own life.

And sometimes we overlook a perfectly good person because there isn't that immediate spark we're accustomed to. I've seen it over and over where someone goes into a wrong relationship, just because it felt familiar.

The question isn't simply, “Why do I keep dating the wrong guy?” It might also be, “What am I repeatedly looking for, tolerating, avoiding, or dismissing?” Becoming aware of our patterns gives us the opportunity to make different choices.

The beautiful thing about a pattern is that once we can see it, we don't have to keep repeating it. We can pause. We can ask ourselves, Is this still serving me? Is this who I want to be? What would I choose if I weren't afraid of disappointing someone, being alone, failing, or starting over?

Does this resonate? We don't have to completely reinvent ourselves. Sometimes growth is simply noticing the little things we do on autopilot and choosing, one moment at a time, to do something different.

Because a pattern may explain where we've been. It doesn't have to decide where we're going.

This week's affirmation:“I am free to notice what no longer serves me and choose what does.”

PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more confident you.

You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.

Until next time,

Isabelle