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  • Writer's pictureIsabelle

Tuesday Thoughts And Self Care



Hi Friends, 


We celebrated Valentine's Day last week. Many of us are grieving a spouse who passed, a broken marriage or are living in another difficult situation where days like Valentine's Day are just hard to go through. Therefore, I find it of paramount importance to write about self care or self love. Self love was always portrayed as something bad in my Christian circles and I had to read and learn about it and experience it myself.  For example, that self love is really not from your EGO, but from your heart. It is necessary to care for yourself. Self care sounds "better" right? But even in the Bible, it says: Love your neighbor as...yourself. 



So, one day it clicked. Grammatically speaking, this loving of myself is a foundation to loving my neighbor. Again, any misconceived beliefs of self love will need to be replaced with a healthy dose of what it really means.



The below portion is taken from a German coach's blog, Laura Seiler, and is helpful in explaining how we practice this in every day life. 


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Why it is so important to love yourself



Loving yourself means taking your own needs and desires into consideration. It is therefore essential that you know yourself well and do not permanently put your needs on the back burner. 



Be indulgent and loving with yourself in your thoughts. We are often generous with others, but often particularly strict and merciless with ourselves. We are usually our own harshest critic. If you let the critic in your head become the loudest voice, this will result in a chain of negative thoughts and feelings that will make you very unhappy if they stay with you permanently.



If you don't give yourself any love, you will also search particularly hard for affection and recognition on the outside. You are dependent on other people for this. Healthy relationships cannot develop in this kind of dependency because you make others responsible for making you feel loved. But the truth is that no one else can create the feeling of love in you. Only you can do that yourself.



That is why it is so indescribably important that you learn to love yourself and strengthen your self-esteem. Your value is not dependent on anything or anyone on the outside. You are valuable and complete, just as you are. If you realize this and are also mindful of yourself and your needs, you have already taken a big step. 


If you are full of love and compassion for yourself, it will be easier for you to deal with problems and criticism in life. You'll see, everything just gets a little easier that way.  You can learn to love yourself7 quick tips: How do I learn to love myself?

1. Self-love affirmations: Instead of comparing yourself to others on social media, turn off your phone, stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes and say to yourself, "I love myself! I am grateful to myself for...! I forgive myself for...! I am proud of myself."



2. Journaling: Instead of distracting yourself from negative feelings with Netflix & Co, take a journal and write down your worries and fears. Face your feelings and allow them to communicate with you. Don't run away from your own issues. Healing ourselves is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.



3. Mindfulness: Instead of expecting others to make you happy, pay attention to your own needs and give yourself what you need right now. To do this, pause from time to time, feel your feet on the ground, connect with your heart, become calm within yourself and give yourself love and compassion.



4. Set boundaries: Instead of trying to please everyone, let go of the idea that you have to please everyone. Realize that saying no to someone else can mean saying yes to yourself. Become aware of what is good for you and what is not. Learn to set boundaries and to respect them.



5. Visualization: Instead of leaving the fulfillment of your dreams and visions to chance, use the power of visualization and your mind to connect every morning with the future you want to create for yourself. Ask yourself what you can do today that your future self will be grateful for.



6. Gratitude: Instead of focusing on what is not yet in your life and what you say you lack, realize that you probably wished for 90 percent of what is in your life today a few years ago. Don't postpone your joy to the future, but celebrate the abundance in your life today. Focus on what you are grateful for and more and more will come into your life that you can be grateful for.



7. Forgiveness: Learn to let go of your past and make peace with what lies behind you in order to be free for what lies ahead. Forgiveness is an act of self-love because you are choosing to be happy rather than bitter. This also applies to forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself from the bottom of your heart! 



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I trust this resonates with you. Please let me know your thoughts and questions about this. 



PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more confident you.

 

           You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.


Until next time,


Isabelle



Call or write for a free life coaching consultation 


#732-331-2246


Isabellestephensoncoach@gmail.com



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