Hi Friends, What did you implement last week? We talked about being your own cheerleader. This week I need to shift your focus on the outside. When you look at the picture above, you see some supporters on the side of the road cheering on the bikers. We all need that, don't we? Do you have a support system? By the time you read this, I will be in Germany to plan and hold my brother's memorial. I can honestly tell you that I feel very supported through my grieving process. Family stepped up. Cleaned and helped with Christmas. Friends called, emailed, sent gifts, and checked in with me. The gifts were super thoughtful. Everything from a handmade, warm shawl to wrap around my shoulders, to an ornament with wings, to rainbow pictures, a necklace, poems and a chime engraved with my brother's name. Sadly, grief connects, and you can tell who has been through the deep waters. This support system didn't just fall out of the sky. I put in a ton of time, effort, energy and sometimes money. Lots of time, as in phone calls and messages to stay in touch or check in when someone was hurting. Also, celebrating with them when things went well. I reached out to new people and asked if we can meet. I stayed in touch with old friends to see how they were doing. I started a mastermind where I made some of the most wonderful friends. It's really a full time job! And so worth it. The Bible talks about sowing and reaping. It is a universal law, too. What you put out there comes back to you. Now, I know some of you need one good friend and that's your support system. I am the type who needs multiple friends. Always have been. So ask yourself in this new year: Who is my support system? Do I need to widen it? How? Who? Am I a support system to someone else? For whom? For what? And I'm not talking about, “I'll pray for you." That's the baseline. We build on that. I want to restore your faith in humanity by telling you this story: My brother was mentally ill and worked in a place for the disabled. Packaging boxes. Boring work. But he went. Every day. The highlight of his week was to work for two days in a bicycle shop. This shop was, I believe, part of a school for disabled children. My brother loved taking things apart and fixing them (even my dolls when I was little). During his last visit here in Florida, 2 years ago, Marcel said that Mr. Wasner, the bicycle shop owner, was going into retirement. My heart sank. I knew Marcel loved this man. He would send me pictures and videos from the shop. So for the past 2 years he didn't have this pleasure of working in the bike shop. When Mr. Wasner saw the obituary, he went out of his way to find my cousin (he must have not kept my number I gave him with my retirement gift to him). He drove an hour to find my cousin and ask what happened to my brother. That absolutely warmed my heart. I got his number and thanked him. I also thanked him for being so good to my brother and told him how much he liked him, to which he said, “That was mutual." I can’t wait to meet this man. He was definitely part of my brother's support system. Of course, I regret not doing more for my brother. Oddly enough, just before he died, I had asked the social worker if there was a group in my brother's town that is facilitated by a professional, where people can meet and hang out and talk. Marcel was so eager to connect. Even in his last weeks, he had coffee with one co-worker, saw a movie with one, and went to a flea market with another. He tried so hard. And you know what? Marcel was a big part of my support system. He called every morning or texted.
Gosh, I miss him. So now, I sit with him every morning, light a candle and remember him. He is still with me.
I leave you with this:
Encourage one another and build each other up.
PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more confident you..
You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time,
Isabelle
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