Tuesday Thoughts and Valentine's week

Hi Friends,

Valentine’s Week: 7 Days of Love (That Have Nothing to Do With Roses)

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that can feel sweet and lighthearted for some people, and heavy or complicated for others. It can bring out excitement, but it can also bring out longing. And for many women in midlife, especially those who have experienced divorce, heartbreak, emotional distance in a long marriage, or simply the quiet loneliness that can come even when you’re surrounded by people, Valentine’s Day can feel like a spotlight shining on everything that feels missing.

Last week I wrote about the question: What is love? And as I sat with that question a little longer, I realized that love is not something we can define in one neat sentence. Love changes shape as we grow older. It shifts as our lives shift. It deepens, it matures, it gets quieter, and sometimes it becomes something we can only recognize in hindsight. Love is not always fireworks and butterflies. Sometimes love is endurance. Sometimes it is honesty. Sometimes it is leaving. Sometimes it is staying. And sometimes love is simply learning how to come home to yourself again.

That’s why I want to offer something different this week, something that feels more grounding than the pressure of one romantic holiday. Because maybe love isn’t something we are supposed to wait for, or hope for, or feel disappointed about once a year. Maybe love is something we practice, something we build into our days, something we can choose in small ways, even if life doesn’t look the way we thought it would.

So instead of putting all the emotional weight on February 14th, what if we treated this week as an invitation? What if Valentine’s Day wasn’t a test of whether someone chooses us, but a reminder that we can choose love in many forms, and most importantly, we can choose ourselves.

Here is a simple practice I want to share: 7 Days of Love. Not for perfection, not to impress anyone, not to prove you’re “over” your past or that you’re thriving in every area of your life. Just a gentle, intentional way of practicing love like a way of living.

Day 1: Love Is Awareness

Love often begins with something that seems almost too small to matter, but is actually the foundation of everything: awareness. Before we can change anything, we have to be honest about what is true. We have to notice where we are. We have to stop rushing past ourselves. So today, the practice is simple—pay attention. Pay attention to the way you speak to yourself, to the way you move through your day, to what drains you and what nourishes you, to the places where you feel tightness in your chest or heaviness in your body. And then ask yourself gently, without judgment: Where am I withholding love from myself? Sometimes love starts with admitting, “I’m tired,” or “I’ve been carrying too much,” or “I’ve been pretending I’m fine.” Awareness is love, because awareness is honesty, and honesty is the beginning of healing.

Day 2: Love Is Self-Respect

Self-respect is one of the most overlooked forms of love, and maybe that’s because it doesn’t always feel soft or romantic. Sometimes self-respect feels like discomfort. It feels like saying no when you are used to saying yes. It feels like setting boundaries that other people don’t like. It feels like stopping yourself mid-sentence and realizing you don’t have to explain your choices to everyone. Today, love can look like one small act of self-respect, something that reminds you that you matter enough to take yourself seriously. Maybe it’s sending the email you’ve been avoiding, making the appointment you’ve been putting off, paying a bill, cleaning out a drawer, or finally choosing the thing that supports your future self instead of keeping yourself stuck. Love isn’t always gentle. Sometimes love is you looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m done abandoning myself.”

Day 3: Love Is Caring for Your Body

So many women have spent decades taking care of everyone else. We took care of children, partners, parents, responsibilities, meals, schedules, emotions, and expectations, and somewhere along the way we learned to treat our bodies like an afterthought. But your body is not a problem to solve. It is not a project. It is not something you only pay attention to when it breaks down. Your body is your home, and it has carried you through every chapter of your life, including the ones you never thought you would survive. So today, love looks like care. Not punishment, not restriction, not guilt, not “I should.” Just care. Drink water. Take a walk. Stretch. Cook something nourishing. Take a nap. Put your phone down and breathe. Love your body the way you would love someone you cherish—patiently, kindly, and without expecting perfection.

Day 4: Love Is Connection

One of the biggest lies Valentine’s Day sells us is that love only counts if it comes wrapped in romance, but some of the deepest love we ever experience comes through friendship, sisterhood, community, and the people who show up for us again and again, even when they don’t have to. Today, love looks like connection, real connection, not just scrolling through other people’s highlight reels or liking a post and calling it interaction. Love looks like reaching out. It looks like texting someone you miss, calling an old friend, leaving a voice note, or inviting someone to coffee. It can even look like being brave enough to tell someone, “I’ve been thinking about you.” We are not meant to do life alone, and sometimes love is simply allowing ourselves to be seen again.

Day 5: Love Is Gratitude

Gratitude is not pretending everything is perfect. Gratitude is not toxic positivity. Gratitude is simply noticing what is still good, even when life has been hard. And in midlife, gratitude can be a powerful way to remind ourselves that we are not starting from nothing. Today, write down ten things that are already love in your life. They can be small. A warm bed. A safe home. A quiet morning. A friend who checks in. A child who calls. A pet who follows you from room to room. A body that still carries you. A song that makes you feel alive. The fact that you made it through something you once thought would break you. Love doesn’t always arrive in grand gestures. Sometimes love is the quiet support that has been there all along.

Day 6: Love Is Joy

Joy is not frivolous. Joy is not childish. Joy is not something we have to earn. Joy is one of the bravest forms of love, especially after heartbreak, disappointment, divorce, or years of living on autopilot. Sometimes the most rebellious thing a woman can do is let herself feel delight again. So today, love looks like joy. Do something purely because it makes you feel alive. Buy yourself flowers. Wear something that makes you feel beautiful. Go to a bookstore and wander without rushing. Play music and dance in your kitchen. Sign up for the class. Take yourself out for dessert. Laugh. Create. Let your life feel like yours again. You do not need permission to enjoy your own existence.

Day 7: Love Is Commitment

This is the deepest day, because love is not just a feeling. Love is a decision. Love is a commitment. And the most important commitment you will ever make is not to another person, it is to yourself. Today, I want you to write one promise to yourself that you can actually keep. Not a dramatic vow. Not a perfect resolution. Just one honest commitment that feels real. Something like: I will stop abandoning myself to keep others comfortable. Or I will not settle for crumbs anymore. Or I will honor my needs without guilt. Or I will trust my inner voice again. The love you give yourself in this season will shape the entire next chapter of your life.

And maybe this is the real message of Valentine’s Day, especially in midlife: love is not proven by whether someone buys you a card or remembers a date. Love is proven by how you treat yourself when nobody is watching. Love is in the choices you make when you’re tired, when you feel tempted to shrink, when you want to give up, when you feel unworthy, when you are tempted to settle for less than you deserve.

So if Valentine’s Day feels tender for you this year, I want you to know that you’re not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you. And if Valentine’s Day feels joyful for you this year, I want you to enjoy it fully, without guilt. But either way, may this week remind you that love is bigger than romance, bigger than one holiday, bigger than what you’ve lost or what you’re still waiting for.

This Valentine’s Day, may you stop waiting to be chosen.

And may you begin choosing yourself, one day at a time.

Your affirmation this week:

I choose to see love.               

Isabelle

PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more confident you.

You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.

Until next time,

Isabelle

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