Hello Friends, What did you implement last week? Are you thinking about who you are becoming? This is not a fun topic, but honestly, none of the self growth and self development is fun. It's work. I am glad you are here, and I am glad you made the decision to work on yourself. If you have followed me for a while now, you know I lost my brother last December. When I went to Germany for the memorial, I stayed in his apartment and I took some books with me. In retrospect, I should have had all his books mailed to me. But it is what is is. I have some. He had a pretty big library in his small apartment. Shelves and shelves of books. Interestingly, many were in the genre of self help. I only found out in the last months of his life that we had that in common. One of the books I am reading is called "How to win more self confidence” written in German by Rolf Merkle, a psychotherapist. I read a page or two every morning after I write to my brother in a journal. So, it's a slow process, but it is what I have decided to do as part of my morning routine. It took a while, a very long while, but I am now in the habit of reading daily. The chapter on the self critic caught my interest and I thought it would be helpful for you, too. We learn early on to listen and internalize our parent's criticism. "You have to..", "You must...", "We don't do that..." They mean well as they raise us to the best of their ability. The problem is we internalize this critique and it follows us into our adult life. Much of our adult life is recognizing certain patterns and then learning to undo them It is work indeed. Do you believe your inner critic when he tells you that you are a loser, gives you a bad conscience, tells you that you will not succeed and that you are not lovable? Is he helping you to do better, make less mistakes and become a more loving human? You know the answer. It's no. All self criticism and self judgement have not made you a better person. Please don't misunderstand, there is a healthy self reflection. This is not what I am talking about here. It is the constant negative dialog in our own minds that put us down and sabotages us and any attempt to better ourselves. If this keeps going, you will feel as inferior in 5 years as you do now. No matter how much outer success and acknowledgement you have accumulated!! Has your inner critic ever told you anything nice and encouraging? It is time that we stop believing our inner critic and start believing some new truth about ourselves. More on this next time. For now, please read this which was taken by the book.
To make a mistake is not bad. Mistakes are not bad. And you are not bad, when you make a mistake.
Feel free to share what you have done to silence your inner critic. I will have some tips next week and will include yours!
You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time, Isabelle
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