Hi Friends, What did you implement last week? Did you start focusing on something that you really want to focus on? Have you changed your perspective? It is such a healthy thing to do. Unlike todays topic. Gossip. Well, let's start with a proper definition:
To gossip, verb: speak about others and reveal secrets or intimacies
a juicy or scandalous story
hurtful to another person
unknown if information is true
usually involves things not discussed publicly
may humiliate the person it's about
Have you been at the receiving end of gossip? Have you been the one starting the gossip train? If we are honest, we will answer yes to both. Why? Because it is one of those ugly things we do as humans. It can leave an even uglier trail behind it.
Why do we do it?
-to impress somebody
-to feel better
-to feel accepted
-to get attention
-to gain power
-to get revenge
-to relieve boredom
-because we are insecure!
It can lead to:
erosion of trust
lost productivity and time
damaged self esteem (which can lead to a whole lot of other things). and finally
It is pretty ugly, isn't it? And it certainly isn't confined to the middle school lunch hall.
There is no way I can cover this topic in a short format such as this. If you have any questions please write them to me. I can answer them in a following mail.
I feel that if you are the recipient of gossip, you should use ALL my life coaching tools!
Checking in with yourself, mindfulness, grounding yourself, asking, “Is this really true?", "How will I respond?", processing emotions that come up, making a plan, setting boundaries, pouring into yourself, letting go, understanding the other person and his human needs and why he or she gossiped in the first place, exploring your triggers, using affirmations, finding clarity and my favorite...Building selfconfidence!!
You will need them all. You will experience signs of emotional distress. You will be hit with MANY emotions that will need to be processed before you can think clearly and try to understand what happened. You will need to be able to ground yourself, step out, and ask yourself some empowering questions. You will wrestle with your triggers and understand them for next time this happens. You will start counter affirmations and make a plan to build your self esteem and your self respect!!!
Books have been filled with all the above topics.
I just want to leave you with the first 2 steps:
Observe yourself - what is coming up for you? What emotion? What thoughts?
Ground yourself - with deep breathing and simple mindfulness tools, so you DO NOT react.
Gossip happens everywhere; in churches, families, schools, workplaces and friend groups because those places all have one thing in common: us humans.
If you are dealing with a gossip situation, feel free to reach out.
You might be wondering why I chose this topic today? Because one of my daughters shared a story that was pretty devastating and when I casually asked my neighbor, while on our morning walk, if she had any inspiration for a topic she said Gossip. So here you go.
The tongue has the power of life and death.
Do you know where this above quote is from?
Feel free to leave a comment or a question. I love to hear from you.
Need help? Message me.
PS: Message me for a free consult to start moving toward a more confident you.
You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.
Until next time, Isabelle
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